ANCHORAGE — It was a stinky week for air travellers, with three separate incidents involving passengers and their human waste.

On United flight 895, which departed from Chicago to Hong Kong last Thursday, a man reportedly took it upon himself to smear his feces on the walls of in-flight bathrooms. The ‘poopetrator’ hit at least two of the bathrooms, plus took off his shirt and attempted to stuff it down the toilet.

The plane, as a result, was forced to land in Anchorage, where the man was taken to a nearby hospital for evaluation.

Unbelievably, another man on another flight was escorted off a plane after urinating all over the bathroom floor. According to WBBH TV, 58-year-old Dante Bencivenga was charged with trespassing and disorderly intoxication, and was escorted off the Spirit Airlines flight before it took off last Thursday night.

Crew members said he became belligerent when they tried to rebook his flight, and refused to leave the concourse. Bencivenga, who has maintained that he wasn’t intoxicated, was banned from Southwest Florida International Airport for one year.

And finally, a man caused quite the scene at Thailand’s Phuket International Airport earlier this week when he walked through the terminal naked, screaming nonsense at passersby and hurling lumps of his own feces at them. Steve Cho, 27, from New York, had to be restrained by six airport security guards after wandering into shops and destroying various goods.

According to a statement from the airport, Cho admitted to “taking too many Viagra drugs”. Officers brought him to the Tourist Centre on the first floor of the airport where they were able to calm him down. Cho reportedly offered to reimburse for any damages that he caused and was then taken to a nearby hospital for a psychiatric assessment.

It’s hard to believe that these offenses were caused by three separate men. But it’s true – you can’t make this s**t up.